SWEARING aloud at hat-wearing Volvo drivers who dawdle along at 30 kilometres below the speed limit has recently become non de rigueur.

So too has beeping my horn at people who don’t know how to use roundabouts, justifying slight speed excesses with the “running late” excuse, playing the Mamma Mia soundtrack in the car at ear-splitting volumes, and going through orange lights.

Hmmm. There goes all my driving fun.

All thanks to a 16-year-old in the family who now has a set of L-plates in his possession and looks to me as an example of sound driving practice.

The burden is huge.

I always thought when this day rolled around that I would take on the job of demonstrating all those bad habits which must be avoided while behind the wheel, while my husband, a pedantic engineering type who secretly longs for a pen protector for his pocket and knee-high socks to wear with his sandals, would do things according to the book. The Queensland Road Rules book, that is. Or to be precise, in a way my husband would admire, the Transport Operations (Road Use Management—Road Rules) Regulation 2009.

It hasn’t panned out that way.

Instead, I find myself with the job of teacher; my every word scrutinised, every action judged.

I should be happy – I am getting more attention from my teenage son than I have had in years; since he discovered that he could very effectively push my maternal buttons by acting deaf, dumb and blind while in my presence.

But I’m not happy.

How could you be when the conversation between home and school runs along the lines of “Mum, swearing under your breath will not make that person move their allegedly big arse. And you’re a journalist – your vocabulary should include some expressive words that are not profanities.”

Or: “Mum, you’re a little too close to that car’s rear bumper.”

Or: “Mum, surely playing Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) at top volume is a distraction.”

Or: “Mum, an orange light means slow down, not speed up.”

Or: “Mum, you know it’s better to arrive five minutes late than not arrive at all.”

However, instead of responding “Alex, just…..shut….UP!!!” – I bite my tongue.

The screams of abject terror of those who taught me to drive many years ago still ring in my ears. No point in subjecting my own son to the same psychological scars.

At least Alex’s first foray behind the steering wheel went better than my own.

He stayed on the correct side of the road, stopped at all the appropriate places and displayed considerable skill with buttons, levers and pedals. Clearly takes after his father.

My own, in contrast, was an unmitigated disaster.

My brother was teaching me, and we drove around a leafy suburb, practising some road basics. “Turn left here,” he said … and so I did.

Up over the gutter I went, across a beautifully manicured front lawn, through a garden bed, stopping just inches from a set of French doors through which two alarmed faces could be seen. I think I even spotted a few priceless Ming vases and a Faberge egg along my trajectory before I somehow discovered the brake.

In my defence, my brother never made it clear that the “turn left” command was meant for the street up ahead. It was a literal misunderstanding. His subsequent refusal to ever drive with me again is completely unjustifiable.

My driving instructor was equally unforgiving, forever condemning me for terrorising pedestrians, stalling the car, forgetting to put on the handbrake, and getting the accelerator and clutch mixed up. So impatient.

Still, he must have liked me – we got quite close over the course of 26 lessons. Enough time for me to see his hair turn completely white.

I am now, of course, a very good driver.

But just in case you are still dubious fellow road users, consider yourselves warned.

Those “L” plates you see on my car might stand for Learner driver … or they might just refer to the Lunatic running Late and Looking to flaunt some road Laws.

A provisional licence holder in Australia was pulled over by police when he was caught speeding, only to be found he was on a provisional licence and driving to the test centre to sit his driving test.

The man was pulled over initially for speeding, but on further inspection officers also found he was also under the influence of alcohol and he failed a roadside breath test.

The man was arrested and taken to a local police station and is waiting to appear in court.

It is illegal for anyone on a provisional licence to drive unsupervised. To drive on a provisional licence you must either be accompanied by a driving instructor or a full licence holder that is over 21 years of age and has been driving for no less than three years.

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The principal of a school in America has taken actions into his own hands and is trying to demonstrate to his pupils the seriousness of driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

He aims to pull one pupil out of class every 15 minutes across two days in order to represent the national statistic that every 15 minutes somebody dies as a result of drunk driving.

The event will cost in excess of $10, 000 as police officers, paramedics and coroners attend the school to enforce the seriousness of driving under the influence. However, Principal Goddard feels it is well worth it especially as he has witnessed many young people die due to this including his own daughter’s boyfriend.

PEOPLE who play driving games are more likely to crash in real-life, according to a new study.

It found that motorists who play games such as Need For Speed and Gran Turismo were 44 per cent more likely to take risks such as running a red light and were less successful at carrying out everyday manoeuvres.

Fatality Free Friday founder Russell White agreed that driving games gave motorists more “bravado”.

However, the road safety expert said driving games should not be confused with computer simulators which are driver education tools.

Queensland Transport is considering allowing learner drivers to include simulator hours in their logbook if Centre for Accident Research and Road Safety Queensland research this year shows it is effective.

“The difference between simulators and games is that simulators have an emphasis on road safety while games put the emphasis on speed and racing – totally different outcomes,” he said.

The British study of 2000 UK motorists, commissioned by tyre company Continental, found gamers were more likely to speed, suffered from road rage and were more likely to be stopped by police.

Continental Tyres spokesman Tim Bailey said that while computer games improved reaction times, those who played them were more prepared to take risks on the road.

“They believe that any problem can be solved by resetting their game,” he said.

Manoeuvres should not be the scary part of a driving test as this is the time where you are most in control of the car.

You can be asked to complete any one of the manoeuvres in your driving test, so don’t go up on test in hope that the examiner won’t choose the one you can’t do.

Reverse Parking – This requires you to reverse back into a gap (around two car lengths) without hitting the kerb.

Reverse to the left – Reverse in to a side road, whist remaining close to the kerb.

Turn in the road – This requires you turning the car to face the other way using forward and reverse gears.

Emergency stop – This required you to stop in an emergency without skidding. Having said this, do not worry if the car stalls, stalling the car is the least of your worries in a real emergency.

Some test centres will require you to complete bay parking, this will be dependent if there is any bay parking available on the test route.

Once you have completed any manoeuvre always remember to complete a 6 point check before moving off again.

Practise makes perfect, you should experience practising these manoeuvres in different weather and road conditions. Remember to take your time and always be alert to other road users.

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Driving test centres could soon be a thing of a past with examiners based at a variety of locations including supermarkets.

Leaked documents suggest the Driving Standards Agency is looking at plans to close test centres and use private firms as “delegated examiners”.

The new plans could also see examiners based at supermarkets and community centres.

The Public and Commercial Services union says it has seen leaked documents showing that the DSA is looking at ways of reducing its costs.

It is also exploring whether driving tests could be conducted by other organisations inside or outside the public sector, said the PCS.

General secretary Mark Serwotka said: “These new documents shed more light on the plans being hatched behind closed doors by senior managers and ministers.

“Worryingly, it is the latest evidence of the creeping privatisation of the agency’s work, which puts ideology before road safety.”

Unfortunately we all age and with this comes responsibility to make sure we are still capable of things we have done all our lives such as driving.

Don’t wait for problems to occur, keep on top of your health. If you experience any of the following, seek advice:

Difficultly reading

Feeling confused on the road particularly at roundabouts and junctions

Forgetfulness

New prescription drugs

It may not just be you that’s aged but the vehicle as well. Older cars lack safety features and many don’t have power steering or information presented on the dashboard to warn of any impending problems.

Even if you do find that your health deteriorates that does not mean losing your independence.

You could look into changing the car to make it easier for yourself. This may mean changing from a manual to an automatic or looking into a specially adapted vehicle.

However, simple things such as a good night’s sleep, eating healthily and knowing about the side effects of medication you are taking will all help. Most importantly when you are out on the roads don’t panic!

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Cyclists on Britain’s roads especially central London has increased dramatically in the last 10 years.

With new initiatives such as The Cycle Superhighways it is thought that the number of people using bikes will increase by 400% by 2025.Despite this, cyclists are still the minority on the roads and there are more than 17,000 injuries a year due to other road users not taking note of cyclists on the roads.

Cyclists are starting to document their journeys and experiences on London’s roads with cameras fitted to their helmet.

It is thought that the more people that cycle, the safer the roads will become. The cameras will allow police to secure convictions for the most dangerous drivers – providing of course the evidence is clear.

It is hoped that any convictions made will be documented and will make road users more aware of their driving and enforce that careless driving will come with heavy penalties.

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Driving School by using the comments link below:

Researchers in Massachusetts are developing a new technology, known as the Driver Alcohol Detection Systems for Safety, which will save many lives.

The future technology will prevent a car from starting if the driver’s blood is higher than the legal limit.

The technology has attracted the attention of many including US Transportation Secretary and David Strickland, head, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA).

Strickland said: “Alcohol related car accidents kill more than 9,000 Americans every year. We hope this new technology reduces that figure drastically once it is launched commercially, 8-10 years from now.”

The Driver Alcohol Detection Systems for Safety measures if the blood alcohol level of the driver is above the legal limit of 0.08 percent. This is done by analysing a driver’s breath or through the skin.

The sophisticated system uses touch-based sensors situated in places like steering wheels and door locks to check whether the driver is under the influence of alcohol or not.

The new technology, which started as a project by QinetiQ engineers in 2008, is faster than systems currently on the market, providing results in less than one second.

The project has received $10 million in funding by NHTSA and Automotive Coalition for Traffic Safety (ACTS).

BSM went into administration and their major rival AA was quick of the mark to buy the company for as little as £1.

BSM have suffered losses for the last few years and blame bad weather for their shortfall. However, driving in all weather conditions is recommended for all learners and when snow arrives every instructor and pupil should take the opportunity to experience it (of course this depends on how new the learner is.)

Despite AA buying BSM, they will remain separate companies – under the umbrella Acromas which is AA’s parent company.

BSM have been teaching people to drive since 1910 however, it was not compulsory to take lessons then as the test did not exist.

Acromas are confident that BSM franchisees can continue to teach as normal, let’s just hope the AA hasn’t bitten off more than they can chew.